September 3, 2010

Your daddy and I serenaded you with Happy Birthday.  We asked at the end, “are ya one?” and both simultaneously responded, “nooo…..” with a laugh.  You stared at us wide eyed… yet another of a lifetime of firsts. 

What I learned this month… Having a child does expand your life, I’m sure of it.   However, I learned this month that having a child also dramatically contracts your life, until your world is focused solely on this tiny creature.  You eat, sleep, breath him.  Your emotions clench hold of your throat.  You find yourself crying over a children’s book.  You wake up every few minutes to stop check… yes, there… he’s breathing.  Now he’s hungry, now upset… what can possibly be wrong?  You sit wordlessly, awkwardly at cofee with childless friends, unable to conjure up a single topic in common with them.  “He’s beautiful.”  “Thanks, how’s work?”  And with that, you each blabber on about something you know the other cares absolutely nothing about.  And the next thing you know, a day, a week, an entire month has passed in the outside world, while you were wrapped up in this inside one. 

Isaac, you’ve definitely changed.  You went from being our “easy baby” the first two weeks to one who is already asserting his demands.  When you are hungry, you are ravenous.  You thrash your head side-to-side with a wildly opening and closing mouth until you find what you are looking for with an audible “raaar!”  At times, you even fight against what you want, arching your back and throwing your little hands in the way, in such haste to get fed that you impede your own progress.   You are awake now several hours a day, and you are not content to just lie around while the world goes on around you.  You insist on movement… talking, singing, playing, and walking walking walking… you do love to be in the thick of things.  And Isaac, what is with this 4am – 7am grunt fest?  Either communicate what you need, or a let a momma and daddy sleep!   

For the first two weeks, I was so sad at time progressing.  I wanted to keep you there sleeping on my chest forever, breathing in your sweet hair.  Now that I am starting to see your personality, though, I am starting to get excited about what’s to come.   You being able to hold your head up… your first smile… goos, gaas, and giggles… crazy cute rough-and-tumble boys’ clothes… walking hand-in-hand with daddy… the first few wobbly steps out on the ice… looking up at you as you proudly smile down on your momma.  I can’t wait to see every moment. 

Happy Birthday, Isaac.